Fellow Travellers
In Irvin Yalom’s book “The Gift Of Therapy” he recites the story below for the benefit of understanding why the therapeutic relationship is one that should not involve a pedestal in which the therapist is upon as an “expert”. It is one of my favourite tales of healing, found in Hermann Hesse’s Master Ludi, involves Joseph and Dion, who are two renowned healers. Though both were highly effective, they worked in different yet complementary ways.
“The young healer, Joseph healed through quiet, inspired listening. Pilgrims trusted joseph. Suffering and anxiety poured into his ears vanished like water on the desert sand and the penitents left his presence emptied and calmed. On the other hand, Dion, the older healer, actively confronted those who sought his help. He divined their unconfessed sins. He was a great judge, chastier, scolder, and rectifier, and he healed through active intervention. Treating the penitents as children, he gave them advice, punished by assigning penance, ordered pilgrimages and marriages, and compelled enemies to make up.
The two healers never meet as they worked as rivals for many years until Joseph grew spiritually ill, fell into a dark despair, and was assailed with ideas of self-destruction. Unable to heal himself with his own therapeutic methods, he set out on a journey to the south to seek help from Dion. On his pilgrimage, Joseph rested one evening at an oasis, where he fell into a conversation with an older traveller. When Joseph described the purpose and destination of his pilgrimage, the traveller offered himself as a guide to assist in his search for Dion. Later, in the midst of their long journey together the old traveller revealed his identity to joseph. He himself was Dion - the very man Joseph sought. Without hesitation Dion invited his younger despairing rival into his home, where they lived and worked together for many many years. Dion first asked Joseph to be his servant. Later he elevated him to student and, finally, to full colleagueship. Years later Dion fell ill and on his deathbed called his young colleague to him in order to hear a confession. He spoke of Joseph's earlier terrible illness and his journey to old Dion to plead for help. He spoke of how Joseph felt it was a miracle that his fellow traveller and guide turned out to be Dion himself.
Now that he was dying, the hour had come, Dion told Joseph, to break his silence about that miracle. Dion confessed that at the time it had seemed a miracle to him as well, for he, too, had fallen into despair. He, too, felt empty and spiritually dead and, unable to help himself, had set off on a journey to seek help. On the very night they had met at the oasis he was on a pilgrimage to a famous healer named Joseph.”
Irvin Yalom’s perspective on this story has always stood out as one that has really shaped my ethos and identity as a psychotherapist. Through out my journey of study and practice I've found myself consistently overwhelmed with gratitude. Despite the occasional challenges and moments of exhaustion, gratitude remains my prevailing sentiment. I see my profession as a privilege, one that allows me to touch lives, hear stories, and share deeply meaningful moments with others. This awareness fills me with a profound sense of gratitude every day.
In my training, empathy emerged as the cornerstone of therapeutic practice. The ability to empathise, to truly understand and connect with a client's experiences, forms the bedrock of effective therapy. Regardless of therapeutic orientation, whether psychodynamic or behavioural, empathy sets the stage for positive therapeutic outcomes. It's a departure from the notion of the therapist as an all-knowing expert, instead fostering an environment of mutual understanding and collaboration.
When clients enter therapy, there's often an expectation that the therapist is an all-knowing expert who will solve their problems and restore their seemingly lost happiness. This perception elevates the therapist above the client, which I believe undermines the therapeutic process. Empathy helps to dismantle this perception of the therapist as a superior authority figure. It creates a space where clients feel more at ease and on equal footing with their therapist. It communicates that the therapist is there to support and guide them, rather than dictate solutions and hand out advice. This shift empowers clients to take ownership of their healing journey, with the therapist serving as a compassionate ally along the way. Asking for help is a courageous act and I feel so honoured to witness the process of psychotherapy bringing people back home to themselves in ways they never thought was humanly possible. Psychotherapy, in all its diverse forms, will always be a source of inspiration for me.
Love,
Cara
